The last waltz

I have been feeling for a while that it is time to go back to Long Beach and regroup. I guess traveling America is somewhat over, but I’m not sad. What I needed out of this adventure I got. Nothing was forced upon me, I gave myself time and space to be not ready for the next step in my life, I allowed myself time to do whatever I wanted and not have any responsibilities. I gave myself time to grow and think.

I have been home for one day and these are the three major questions I have been asked by friends and family; Did you have a blast? What have you learned? What was your favorite place?

I will answer them not in order. What was my favorite place? I was searching for a place that gave me butterflies, searching for a place to speak to me and tell me there is where I belonged, but I didn’t get what I wanted in that regard. No place in America struck me as awesome. The one place that came close was Nashville, Tennessee. Nashville is a city filled with music and restaurants and history. There are people from everywhere in Nashville and the people are very nice and happy, and music is playing everywhere.

Did I have a blast? My inclination is to say no, I did not have a blast. What I did have was a really great time in America. I bummed around on couches and festivals and hostels like I had not a care in the world, like I was just waiting for something to come and until then I was completely open to everything. That is what it was like, I was waiting for some sort of epiphany that did come after all and I was having a great time not caring if it did in the meantime. I met so many people that I will cherish forever I think. So many great people with different thoughts and different things to say and they each live a very different life in Asheville, North Carolina or Charleston, South Carolina, Chicago, Boston; just everywhere people have their own stories. I have seen so much, I have partied a lot, seen a lot of music, and let myself loose. I had a good time having fun in America but I had an even better time finding myself in America and what is important to me. Which brings me to my last question, what did I learn?

I learned what is important to me. Comfort when I want it, my dear friends, my family, and doing things by myself and doing what I want to do. I learned that it is more than ok to not be ready for something. I was not ready to decide what to do or where to go after College, simply not ready to succumb to reality or needing to make money and needing a home base. I learned the sheer importance of giving yourself time. Time unveils a lot, it heals almost all wounds, and in time the world and your mind change. Time is precious; people take it for granted by not allowing themselves to take a piece of it for themselves. I learned it is important to me to have music, art, culture, people, in my life and in the place that I live. I learned that my next move is moving to San Francisco. I learned what fields I am interested in and I learned what kind of life I envision for myself. I learned that I am ready to take the next leap, I learned that I could do whatever I want to do.